What are friends.....???

I wrote this sometime ago, I just decided to post it.

If you don't know by now, my dad passed on last April. It was the heaviest and the hardest event in my life. I could only say this for there is no other words could express the emotions I went thru and going thru till today. I still think of my dad and still feel that he is happy back in Penang. Well that is not the case. I tried to pinch myself to wake up from this dream but it didn't work. Nothing can be changed now, except for me to start realizing..


The topic I wanted to talk is friends. I always pride myself of having good friends around me and I still do. I have some of the greatest friends that makes me feel alive. I, no doubt always ensure I am a good friend to them. For me, friends are the next closes people after your parents and family. The past events made me realize that, not all people you think are your friends should necessarily think you are their friend. :)

Real friends are not the ones that comes over when you have a party or some celebration. These is no doubt, humans will go to any extend to be happy and have fun. At these times when you having fun, you think you are with a group of great friend that is sharing your happiness. Well that is not the case, they are there because they have a selfish reason. They want to have fun! That's the truth. You go to a party not because someone invites you, you go there because you want to have fun and be happy. If you invite a stranger walking down the street and tell him he is going to have fun. He will surely come. I don't blame anyone to feel that way. But if you are a friend, well you should not only be there during the happy times. You need to be there when they are in sorrow as well. That is what makes you different from a stranger walking down the street.

In the time of my sorrow, indeed there were friends around me. Not as much in numbers I wanted but there were some. All my friends are a friend to my dad. He was the friendliest father one can ever ask. All my friends envy me for having such a cool dad.

I received the call on my fathers passing. It was a shock but it took time to sip in. I couldn't drive. Even I looked calm outside, I could hardly feel my legs. No one can feel the pain, one needs to go thru to really feel it.

At that time, few people came to be by my side. Boy was the first person I told the news. He without thinking offered to drive me up and was followed by Y and L. Later my bro told G the news. He without thinking followed my brother in his car. G and I go a long way from the same school to the same Univ. He was there all the way. He held me when I fell after the last ritual. That is when I need a friend and he was there. Even I didn't express my gratitude to him. I am sure he knows.

My dearest darlin, she came from KL without thinking for a sec. I am sure it was very hard for her to see me in that state, but she came. When I saw her in the conner ..silent, she didn't have to say anything to comfort my feeling. I was equally comforted just to see her.

S, is married to my cousin. He was the one man that brought me and my family back to our feet. He was the only one that came and visited us almost every day. He cared without expecting any returns. No words I can say to thank him enough. He is a gem that I found in times of trouble.

The whole event feels like a dream. I want to forget all that happened that week. I want to forget but remember those who was there for me.

There were lots of you that felt my pain and I know each of you, if I were to write all.. I could end up writing a book :). I want to instead write the reason why I decided not to have some people as friends.

If you remembered, I said not all friends take you as their friend. Well its very easy to identify them, but I was stupid not to realize that earlier. The simplest tell is, when you were to call them they use these words. " I am busy". You may think they are indeed busy, but common are you not the only one bz. We all know that we are busy people. We work, eat, shit and work again. We are busy people, get over it. You need to make your time. Make it a point to call your friends, just for the fun of it. You didn't have to have a reason to call a friend, rite.

Let me bring you to the one so called friend. She is no doubt, claims to be the busiest woman around. Every time I called, there would be at least 100 "busy" word from her mouth. I came to realize now that, she is the most self centered person I ever know. I cannot believe that I put up wt her for so long. :)

Anyway, this person stays about 5km from my house. She was there the night before the funeral and that is the last time i saw her while I was in Penang. Common, if cant come over, can always call. Well, its really to late for that now.

Another of my childhood friend, no doubt he came for the funeral. But after that same story, gone with no trace. He is also in Penang and never called or visited the entire time I was in Penang. This is a funny charactor, every time I come back to Penang I will call him and tell I am back. Everytime, I call he will say "now only you remember to call me issit" Well atleast I called but he never calls me. Idiot has the guts to turn the table around. And these are the people that knows my dad well and my dad even catered for his wedding. I have absolute no benefit from him in any ways. Hence, no point in talking rite.

So during this event, I made a small housekeeping. Friends, are like the items in your fridge. I am sure when you open your fridge and you will find some items that you use everyday. Some, well it just sits there wt no apparent use. If you were to look closely, it may have been expired. So the best thing is to throw them away.

Some friends that has not keep in touch. Well, no point in having them in your mind rite. So better to throw and make room for some new ones.

During this event, I made some great friends.

* those of you I still talk to, you are very close to my heart. You guys are in no way have hurt me.